Black Cat Customs – Tofu | Stealth Black | Purr-Cooled | Unlocked Zoomies

Condition: Used – like new. Minor cosmetic shedding. Fully operational, occasionally uncooperative.

Meet Tofu, the original Black Cat Custom. Compact chassis, premium black finish, and absolutely no cable management skills.

Specifications

• CPU: AMD Ryzen 9 Lives
• GPU: NVIDIA GeForce RTX Pspsps – real-time mouse tracking
• RAM: Selective memory; remembers dinner, forgets boundaries
• Storage: Unlimited cache of stolen zip ties
• Cooling: Self-cleaning fur with an integrated purr motor
• Power supply: Dual-fuel kibble/wet food; treats enable boost mode
• Networking: Wi-Feline with two adjustable ear antennas
• Operating system: CatOS – administrator privileges cannot be revoked
• Form factor: Expands to fill any available box
• RGB: Two green LEDs. Non-addressable. Judgment enabled.

Performance & Testing

✓ Passed extended sleep stability testing
✓ Excellent performance in Stray
✓ Zero interest in your productivity applications
✓ Automatically wakes from sleep when a food bag opens
✓ Random 3AM overclocking confirmed

Known Issues

May sit on your motherboard during installation. Occasionally generates unexpected output outside the designated peripheral area. Keyboard inputs may occur without user authorization.

Shipping

Local admiration only. Tofu is not actually for sale. Original box unavailable because he is currently sitting in it.

🐈‍⬛ Black Cat Customs & Repair — Management pictured.